duminică, 13 septembrie 2009

"V"

(She) - Lover, I beg you let go. For I am as infatuated with you as the hopeless coutresan is to the carnal pleasures she sells. I am as guilty as the most self-conscious sinner is for this feeling, still I can't seem to be able to let go of it...of you. My dear, I love you so, and the pleasure of loving you is hurting me so much, that not only me whole being in in the deepest state of pain, but so is my body while craving for your eternal presence. Oh, sorcerer, release me from your spell, as even the most cruel desert releases the lost ones from the bittersweet illusions he selfishly wraps around them.
(he) - Stay still and keep silent, beautiful; for I wish to kiss your lips once more.
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(she)- Lover, I'm down on my knees, and again I beg for freedom. My love for you is eating me up inside, and I need you like the end needs a beginig, and night needs day. I crave for you like the sun craves for the moon and as the Devil craves for his God. Like the slave needs the master, like the pleasure needs the pain...to exist, is what i need you for. As alfa to omega, and as life to death, we are - you are. I want you no longer, I need you forever. Let go or I shall lose common sense, for my love is so much more powerful than my perpetual nothingness. Your whole being fills me up, but I find myself in the position of being a cup so small, that's unable to find place for all that ambrose you provide. Please, lover, have mercy and leave now...
(he)- Don't move and keep quiet, beautiful ; for I wish to hold you near once more.
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(she)- Devil, I'm burning as I still feel your lips over mine and your hands into mine. I'll end up bursting in flames, for you have cruelly sentenced me to this. Why, lover, do you insist on softly ripping me apart? With your kiss and your touch you have taken away my last drop of will. I surrender to you, God, I shall die within your arms. Dear poet, rewrite your song, there still is time. Recreate the ending, for the one you have chosen is too sad. "She died" - he said, the drunken poet. "overdose of love and opium, passion and absynte - on the cold floor, alone, in his arms...she died". Don't let her die, Creator... give back her life, Destroyer!
(he)- Don't think, and no longer speak, beautiful, for I wish to find myself inside of you once more
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(he)- I'm leaving, beautiful. And so, I give you back your peace.
(she)- Don't you dare walk through that door,lover. I'm dead, and so are you, though we're both more alive than we ever were. You did this to me; you had torn apart the barriers between life and death inside of me - I am in no mans land, I am nobody, I have no name, nor age. I have no life, nor death - no time and space. I'm in your world now, for you have brought me here, and I wish to stay. My name is Doe, and so is yours, and that makes us man and wife. As Adam and Lillith, we are rulers over a land of eternal nothingness. We are rulers over passion and sin, and flesh and blood. We are gods to the devils and devils to ourselves. We are eternal and so we shall be, somewhere in between existence and...void. You made me this, and now I accept it. I have no body, and no soul, and I've become, just like you, a concept, an idea - powerful through inexstence in the material world. I am you- I have taken your name. We are one. Now you must take me.
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- Say my name, beautiful, and I shall.
- Vendetta.

luni, 7 septembrie 2009

Tu...

Esti ca o masca venetiana ,
Scaldata-n sange de mult mort,
Iar cu rusine spun din nou...
Inc-as vrea sa te mai port

Esti ca o mare-nflacarata,
Sacldata-n sange si petrol,
Iar cu tristete plang din nou...
Mai iau o gura de alcool

Esti ca un inger decazut,
Manjit, pe-alocuri, de noroi,
Iar cu regret imi amintesc
De cand eram, in Rai, doar doi.

Esti poate-o floare putrezita
Roza fara de petale,
Iar eu cu ura, ncet, strivesc...
Albina ce-ti tot da ocoale.

Esti ca un mort ce viu graieste
Fragmente dintr-o amintire
Iar eu refuz sa te privesc...
Te-as invia cu o privire.

Dar nu-ndraznesc, nici sa te port
Nici sa mai beau, nici sa privesc...
Nici s-amintesc, sau sa strivesc
N-o sa-mi permit...sa te iubesc

vineri, 7 august 2009

Aberatie in miez de noapte ( sau ceva de genu)

Parca a trecut prea mult timp de la ultima mea rabufnire artistica manifestata printr-o ura profunda, mascata printr-un cinism (dupa cum multi ar spune) de-a dreptul si pur si simplul savuros. Asa ca, what the bloody fuck ( cum ar spune vechii mei noi "prieteni" ), here it goes.
Astazi, dezbatem tema reusitei profesionale intr-o tara excrementionala (made-up word; copywright all mine) precum aceasta in care ne tot scremem sa traim. Bun... hai sa luam, sa zicem, un scenariu...oarecare. Incepi o afacere, te scremi cateva luni s-o legalizezi, te certi cu prea multe fecale (n.i. "oameni", sau ceva de genu) in fine, dupa ce te zbati cat poti de tare, sa zicem ca poate...doar poate...ai mare noroc(sau ai mancat cacat mult in copilarie) si reusesti. Perfect pana aici. Iti iei un oarecare "liber" o saptamana sau doua, timp impartit strategic in "perioada de injurare a cacatilor de oameni" si "perioada de relaxare, reflectare si planificare a unei strategii de dezvoltare a afacerii. La finul acestor zile de "hodina", vii cu forte noi, si cu intentia - evident - de a rupe gura targului. Negociezi pe ici, pe colo, mai faci o relatie, doua, pui la punct un eveniment, faci planuri cu carul ( ca deh, tre sa gandim pe termen lung...nu?) si te trezesti ca...sa zicem... clubul e ok, cu biletele ai rezolvat pronlema, sonorizarea e in regula, ai chitantierul gata pe birou, ai chiar si un oarecare contabil, trupa este ok... dar stai...trupa??? aloo... membrii trupei x-ulescu?? aloo (raspuns : abonatul whatever nu poate fi contactat). Zici : sunt in trneu, deh, doar am pus mana pe mare trupa de canta prin toata tara, e ocupati oamenii, ca e sub 50. Asta, azi. Dar maine? Dar poimaine? dar peste o saptamana, al dracu de nenorocit de abonat si-o fi introdus telefonul printr-un oarecare orificiu, unde n-are semnal, dar deloc??? ( mintea mea perversa ma indeamna sa gandesc o explicatie referitoare la vibratii, dar, deh - fiecare cu ce are in dotare; daca telefonul omului vibreaza, eu de ce-l pot acuza? Ca-i place?? :)) ) Adevarat, onorariul era de tot cacatul, si ei, trupa mare, isi permite ( repet- tot sub 50) sa ...se evaporeze!?!. In final, iti introduci un oarecare organ in toata situatia, pe care desi eu una nu-l posed personal, sunt destui dispusi sa-l imprumute, si mergi mai departe.
Prin " a merge mai departe" ma refer la actiunea de a prelungi perioada de "liber", la sa zicem, o luna -doua( de data asta se necesita mai mult timp pentru injurat, si muuult mai mult timp pentru reflectie). Si te trezesti stand degeaba, frecand menta, etc etc. Bani, ai. Si? Asta te ajuta cu ce? Ah, da ... te ajuta sa iesi la o bere cu baietii, sau la o barfa mica cu fetele, din cand in cand, de trei ori pe zi. Din toate acestea rezulta => (na, ca n-am uitat semnul matematic ptr rezulta) ca ai ajuns "s-o arzi la modul cel mai dubios" ( ceea ce nu este intotdeauna un lucru bun).
La o betie uuun pic mai crunta decat cele uzuale, acompaniata de cate un cui ocazional, ai o revelatie ( desi la moment ai numit-o" relevatie", dar n-are nimic, tot epiphany este, si prietenii tai au inteles ideea asa ca, why bother?) si ai decis ca trebuie sa faci ceva.
La ce va asteptati oare?
Evident, inca vreo doua saptamani de repaos, in prima, desigur, injuraturi, insa de aceasta data la adresa propriei persoane ( ca merita, nenorocita), iar in a doua, planuri, ganduri, ale dracu de multe sacrificii, la modul ca acum niste luni spuneai ca nu vei organiza vreodata baluri, iar acum intrebi in stanga si-n dreapta cine ce bal pe unde vrea cine sa cante, cine sa se dezbrace, ce pitzipoanca sa mai primeasca un premiu de miss si sa fie trimisa la produs, alea alea.Mai grav este cand iti dai seama ca pe moment, esti legat la maini si la picioare, pentru ca toata lumea este in vacanta, si dracu mai da pe la partyuri. Drept urmare ( caci, evident, un elan ca acesta nu trebuie irosit aiurea) hotarasti ca nu trebuie sa stai degeaba ( nu de alta, dar efectiv nu mai poti, te mananca pe peste tot, desi, de baut-bei, de fumat- fumezi, sex- faci...la dracu, ceva ceva trebuie sa fie gresit in toata ecuatia asta). si, pentru a face ceva productiv cu timpul tau, te trezesti inapoi in barul de unde ai plecat, intreband la fel ca prima data, daca au cumva, din intamplare, vreun post liber si pentru mine ( si, pentru ca nu sunt singura usor disperata, se dovedeste ca, din nou,pe degeaba, postul este al meu) .
Si te intorci de unde ai pornit, de data asta, poate, cu alte planuri ( pe principiul "banii astia ajung direct in contul firmei, investesc bla bla) dar pe cine dracu incerc sa mint aici? This is bullshit. Din nou... cate 9, sau 12 ore pe zi, zile libere din parti, sesiune maaare de restante ( vreo 8 ) incepand cu septembrie, relatii pe ici pe colo, pile pe ici pe colo, iar n-am timp sa respir ( sau sa dorm, ceea ce ma enerveaza cel mai mult). La dracu, abia daca-mi vad pisica neagra proaspat achizitionata.
Dar de data asta nu are cum sa nu iasa bine. Alta strategie, alt mod de a linge clientii prin diferite zone, alt mod de a pune problema, alt cacat all in all. Macar de data asta ma car cu cartile de vizita dupa mine :)) ( app multumesc mult ptr ele, vlad - vreau mai multe, si pe carton mai gros, si la chestia asta astept un "da shefa" hotarat - dau o bere dupaia, ce dracu, fac tips bun daca ma mai aplec de cateva ori dupa ceva scapat "accidental" pe jos) . Si...mesaj catre "the team"... hai baieti, sa facem bani, sa investim, sa rupem gura targului de data asta, ca... ce dracu, nu ma semi-prostituez degeaba prin baruri :)).
In fine...sunt rupta de somn, azi am fost tura de 12, maine voi fi la fel ( asta, daca voi auzi alarma telefonului dimineata) . La dracu...acum parca mi-e dor de vremurile cand dormeam pana la ce ora dorea p*zda mea. Dar nu conteaza, one must succeed, and if this is what it takes, then this is what i'll do. Gata, adorm pe tastatura, o sa strivesc matza care e la mine in brate, las-o in durerea ei, reuseste ea sa scape cumva, mi se rupe, mi-e prea somn. Maine, iar facem bani. Hai baieti, ca se poate. Sa ma pis pe tara asta de tot cacatul, ca numa de-a dracu, peste niste ani, o s-o am la picioare ( chiar daca acum am la picioare doar ocazionale cioburi de pahare sparte). So, bring it on,and soon, or else, i'll be the one to bring it ( and , yes, "it" is a specific "it" - dar ce e, mai exact...well that's the surprise you're all in for).
Gata, noapte buna, buna dimineata, mi se rupe. Va doresc pace eterna printre flacarile iadului si distractie placuta prin cazane ( voi avea grija ca smoala sa fie indeajuns de incinsa).

miercuri, 29 iulie 2009

Addiction

My sweetest sin, my dirty God-
The pleasure of my pain
You be the heart, I'll be the blood
And be my pure cocaine

My bleeding angel, absynthe shot
Come closer, go away
I must admit, I love you not
But I want you now to stay.

Cyanide rush, I beg you let go
Lythium fills my lungs
I mean "yes" though I say "no"
When playing with our tongues

Kiss me again, hurt me so much
I'll let you have your way
Let me yearn then for your touch
Then come again and play

Taste me again,and again in anger
Leave me with no choice
Kiss me soft and choke me tender
And take away my voice

I scream with pleasure, never stop
Keep my pain awake
I see you smile as I give up
My all is yours to take

As light of day takes it all away
And you untie the noose
There are no words left to say -
Just a black rose and a briuse.

I show you the door,and to me you obey
You kiss my lips and bruise
But secretly... I wish for you to stay
And so you do, and then I softly say:

..."Never again untie the noose"...

joi, 16 iulie 2009

Perpetual Dream Theory - Now or Never

Nu imi pot aminti ultima oara cand am fost atat de impresionata de o melodie... ma defineste, ma alina, tine companie lacrimior si zambetelor mele. Adevarul este ca numai muzica poate face asa ceva, chiar si dintr-o persoana ca mine. Poate mai exista cineva, care ascultand-o, o va simti la fel de aproape precum o simt eu. Iar instinctul ma indeamna spre un act de egoism nenecesar, facandu-ma sa-mi doresc ca acea persoana sa nu existe...sa impart cu nimeni ceea ce simt. Insa, cu toate acestea, pentru ca devine incet-incet parte din mine, daca nu era deja, poate, chiar dinainte sa o ascult, pentru ca devine asemeni versurilor si randurilor imaginate si apoi scrise de mine, nu pot sa nu postez...


Now or never
Asculta mai multe audio Diverse

luni, 13 iulie 2009

the twist

nothing more, and nothing less
it's you i have
you i posess
i'm on my knees and i confess
guess what?
you missed your guess.

nothing else, and nothing more
and this right here
i can't ignore
you had three guesses
now you've lost
i eat a pie
without a crust

again i slip, again i fall
again i weep
again i crawl
as i struggle to keep living
it's just the end
of the begining

and i regret, and i forget
what was before
the safest bet
and for the "it" i did not get
i'll have to pay
for the day we met

and i want what i don't need
i need not
what for i plead
again i wait, again i bleed
you take your leave
i take the lead

we do the twist, and you are mine
although you're dead
i do not mind
you are the killer, you're the crime
a twist of lemon
with a twist of lime

for twisted we are, and so we will be
you are more twisted,
more twisted than me
a minute too late, you set me free
i drove you blind
why can't you see?

sweet release and sweet remorse
i keep dancing
with your corpse
i use my strength, i use my force
i won't get beter
so i get worse

Pleasure

I plead my case, you rest my plead
It's you I want, but I don't need
It's you I'll have, without a doubt,
It's you I'll chew and then spit out

It's me you'll love, it's you I'll crush
It's from your bed I'll leave in rush
For me you'll cry and beg once more
I'll be the whore that you'll adore

You'll want my heart, my soul, my all
I'll be around to watch your fall
I'll give you hell and sweetest pain
I'll die in glory, you'll die in shame

You'll miss my kiss, my skin, my lips
From where you'll be, in your abyss
You'll miss my touch, my words, my voice,
You knew the game, you had a choice

Blue pill or red, it's one or the other
You took the risk and so became my lover
You were my toy, and though it was fun
It's time I'd end what you've begun

(And to your head I point my gun)